Self Expression
KCA's Day Programme helps service users reintegrate into their communities. Each programme has one or two computers set aside for service user use - to practice keyboard skills, create documents - such as CVs, diaries and newsletters - and do any homework required for any education programmes - from basic literacy and numeracy, through to diploma level courses - they are attending.
Service users are also encouraged to express themselves through creative activities - gardening, painting and poetry - and this page shows some of the work created by Day Programme service users with KCA.
Addiction
I learned to chase the dragon late one night.
My tutor was a friend, he said I'd be alright.
Because I was a new boy the heroin would be free
But next time it was needed, I must pay the pusher's fee.
I was breathing in the vapours in a small and dim lit room,
The walls were running round me, I couldn't get my breath.
Ice cold hands lay all around my neck. I thought I'd met my death,
So I rode the Devil's chariot to the gates of hell,
With heroin mist around me, the driver rang the bell.
I had chased the dragon with every ounce of breath,
The dragon now was chasing me, I was ever nearer death.
Suddenly the mists were clearing, they found my body on my bed,
My friends all gathered round me, each one thought I was dead.
I'm fighting my addiction now, as hard as I can do,
And with my doctor's help I know I can pull through.
Now the months have passed and I am free of pain,
My addiction is behind me and I feel born again.
Miss Heroin
""So now little man you've grown tired of grass, cocaine, speed, LSD and hash,"
Someone pretending to be a true friend said: "I'll introduce you to Miss Heroin."
"Well honey, before you start fooling with me, let me tell you how it's going to be,
‘Cos I'll seduce you and make you my slave,
I've sent people stronger than you to their grave,
You think you could never become a disgrace and end up addicted to poppy seed paste,
You'll take me into your care pretty soon, and once I've entered into your veins the craving will nearly drive you insane.
You'll need plenty of money so you are told, ‘cos darling I'm much more expensive than gold.
You'll mug and you'll steal for my narcotic charm, and you'll feel content with a line in your arm.
The day when you realize the monster you've grown,
You'll slowly swear to leave me alone.
And if you've got the mystical knack, then sweetie just try getting me off your back.
The vomit, the cramps, your gut tied in knots, with your tangled nerves screaming for just one more shot.
The pain in your brain is coming again, the cold chills, the sweats,
The withdrawal pains can only be stopped by my brown little grains.
There's no other way and no need to look,
‘Cos deep down inside you'll know that you're hooked.
You'll welcome me into your arms again and when you return just as I'd foretold,
I know you'll give up you body and soul.
You'll give up your morals, conscience and heart and you'll be mine ‘til death do us part".
Monster
I have this monster
Who lives deep within.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Have you met him?
I sincerely hope
That you have not,
‘Cos this here monster,
Wants all that you've got.
My monster doesn't have a name,
But you'll know him just the same.
By the hole that he will make,
And by the heart that he will break.
And when he's taken all he can,
When you're no longer the same woman,
When you know that your knees are broken,
That evil monster throws you a token.
Just enough to take away your pain,
And get you back on the same road again.
It seems that this monster cannot be tamed,
Overcome or even shamed.
Once moved in he's there for life,
He feeds off trouble and devours the strife.
He'll never leave you or let you go,
You'll never want to tell him "No".
There is a way, I've realized,
To keep this monster tranquilized.
But he won't be pleased to lose his toy,
He'll make you doubt that you can find any joy.
His voice will sound all quiet and dim:
"Life without me is dull and so grim."
He won't shut up, just won't give in,
Until I give myself to him.
The Pusher
My little lambs they come to feed,
I give it to them free, as much as they need.
They come again, this time they pay.
They haven't a clue that they'll be back the next day.
They say it's good and give me a smile.
I give them a gram, it will last a while.
Now they are hooked and come back for more,
They give their money, they know the score.
They take too much and go to bed,
Not believing that tomorrow they'll be dead.
What Life?
In prison once again
But not for long.
Shoplifting again,
And I know it's wrong,
Being an addict,
You do what you must,
‘Cos when you are ill,
You need that brown dust.
It gives you a high,
When you get your hit,
Then coming down,
You feel like shit.
That bit of brown powder,
Will rule your life,
At first it's good
But then it's strife.
It's really no life,
Each day on the skag,
You go to the shops,
And fill uup your bag.
Walk out without paying,
End up in court.
This is my life,
Well a life of a sort.
I want to stay clean,
Keep away from the smack,
As I can't see my family,
All dressed in black.
Cutbacks
Hungry and dirty she roamed the streets,
Looking for shelter from the cold,
Somewhere for her to spend the night.
Hunched up she walked like the very old,
Curled up inside a shop doorway
She couldn't sleep as hard as she tried.
Never had she felt so frightened and alone,
Tears fell as she broke down and cried.
The very next day she started to walk again,
And people they stopped and stared,
But she didn't seem to see them.
And if she had I doubt that she would have cared.
For days she walked until she dropped,
Only then did the pain go away.
She closed her eyes and went to sleep,
On a cold and windy, wet winter's day.
A crowd had gathered around the lifeless form
That had fallen in a heap on the street,
Whispering to one another in shock,
About the pitiful sight at their feet.
Although a grown women in body,
In her mind just a young girl of eight.
Yet another government statistic,
Left alone and helpless to her fate.
Forced to leave the only home she knew,
Where she was safe and warm and fed.
Told to go it alone,
And now poor Annie is dead.
Where have you gone?
I wanted to tell you,
The feelings I've had,
But I can't find the words,
As I'm feeling so sad.
I don't know you anymore,
Where have you gone?
There's a stranger beside me,
Singing your song.
Are you telling the truth?
You say you don't lie,
But when I look in your eyes,
I feel I could cry.
It won't be for long,
You'll stop soon you say,
But how do I know,
As it's only today.
We don't seem so close,
Yet we seem so apart.
We don't even talk,
We're falling apart.
You tell me you love me,
But is this really you,
You're totally different,
Not the same man I knew.
Killing me softly
It's warm in here and comforting,
Feels soft and so secure,
What wondrous thing is happening?
I'm changing more and more,
Yesterday I found my fingers,
Today I found my toes,
And guess what funny thing I had found,
I think it's called a nose.
I can hear my mummy's heartbeat,
And the sounds outside quite near.
Is that my daddy's voice now,
Oh! It's lovely growing in here.
Mummy I don't feel too well,
What's happening out there?
I can't see things so clearly,
Please help, it isn't fair.
I'm shaking and I'm frightened,
Why do I feel this way?
Mummy can't you hear me,
Please, not again today.
You keep talking about the crack,
And say how great the hit,
But you know it makes me poorly,
You must care a bit.
What was that you said Mummy?
You don't want me at all,
But I love you so much Mummy,
Please listen to my call.
I can hardly feel any part of me,
What's happening inside my head?
Stop it! Stop it! Mummy!
Or I think that I'll be dead!
Drugs
Drugs can kill you and they surely will,
Is it worth the powder or the pill?
Ecstacy, acid, crack cocaine,
They will surely bring you some pain.
You're losing your children and you've lost your wife,
Is this the way you want your life?
I was a junkie but not any more,
‘Cos I've seen the dangers and I know the score.
So come down to reality and give it a miss,
For you to get better is all I wish.
Don't be a sucker and fall for the drug.
Be a strong fighter like you should.
Get back to the person we all used to know,
The one with a love so warm it would glow.
You were a nice person but not anymore,
You're a junkie, a waster, like dirt on the floor.
You've lost all respect from your family and friends,
They know you're a no-hope reaching your end.
So get up and start fighting and get it back,
Say no to the drugs, ‘cos you know it's all crap.
Life's a drag
Gis' a fag
Have you got a drag?
Got any sugar or tea?
Anybody got any coffee?
Have you got any milk?
Surely you can spare me?
What a life so full of strife,
This is prison life you see.
So many women who shouldn't be here,
Just crying to be free.
Mothers waiting for a visit.
Tears they won't share.
Families queuing up outside,
Come to show how much they care.
Gis' a fag
Have you got a drag?
It's the order of the day,
For this is a place called Drake Hall,
Where the women cry and pray.
Haze
You slowly wake up, though you're still in a haze,
Life to you is just one big maze.
You look through your windows and start to cringe,
You step back and pick up another syringe.
Now the needle is in your arm,
You feel so good and you feel so calm.
You go outside and walk around,
People are talking but you hear no sound.
All of your dreams are nightmares,
You're trapped in a powerful spell,
You've slowly slipped out of heaven
And quickly into hell.
You've gone too far this time, without a doubt,
You've dragged yourself in,
So drag yourself out.
You fall down and scream in pain.
You only have yourself to blame.
You've ruined your life.
You've thrown it away
You live hour by hour
And day by day.
Are you so dull, are you really so blind?
You've ruined your body, you've ruined your mind.
They've locked you up, they've blown your away.
They say you won't get out forever and a day.
You're so unhappy, you're so sad,
You've lost everything you ever had.
You are addicted and you're starting to burn.
‘Cos the wheel of death has started to turn,
You're addicted and it goes to your head,
You're addicted but you'll not stop ‘til you're dead.
Or will you?
Inside
Left inside and all alone,
I'm in jail and not at home
People come and people go,
But will they ever really know.
The time I've spent wondering why,
I could not eat but only cry.
The days they pass really slow,
How can they say, how can they know.
So I'm left inside and all alone,
Here in jail and not at home.
You walk up the stairs and stand in the dock,
Your blood pressure rises as you look at the clock.
The judge sums up carefully
The evidence he's heard,
He looks at the jury without a word,
"How do you plead?" He shouted at me,
"Not guilty, your Honour, I want to be free."